Bathhouse Boys

The stories behind a gay sauna in London.

Bathhouse Boys

"I love that note on the door!" said Charlie, reporting for duty."

"Which one?" asked Joe.

"On the side door..." clarified Charlie. "It says - We are not open. This is a building site."

"We had guys just wandering in, asking if we were open..." explained Joe. "I guess that they thought it was some sort of construction worker role-play fantasy."

"Hot..." nodded Charlie. "What are we working on today?"

"We've got a lot to do..." said Joe. "A bit of painting. A bit of cleaning. It’s all a bit chaotic still."

"It’s going to be weird when we actually open..." said Charlie.

"Weird?" asked Joe.

"Our handyman construction days will be over and we’ll be cleaning up cum..." shrugged Charlie.

"I think I’d prefer to be cleaning up cum rather than pretending that I know how to paint a wall..." decided Joe.

"I guess the thrill of cleaning up cum wears off pretty quickly?" suggested Charlie.

"The worst was the mystery shitter..." said Joe.

"What?" laughed Charlie. "What are you talking about?"

"It went on for weeks..." explained Joe. "You’d be cleaning out the private cabins, and you’d come across a big pile of shit."

"Gross!" exclaimed Charlie. "That’s disgusting!"

"At first we thought it was a one-off, that someone had a bit of an accident or something..." continued Joe. "But, it happened again and again and again."

"How did you figure out who it was?" asked Charlie.

"We had a few suspects that we started keeping a closer eye on..." explained Joe. "It turned into a major surveillance operation. Eventually, we pinpointed the guy and got him on CCTV. I had to confront him about it."

"How did that go?" asked Charlie.

"He defended himself..." shrugged Joe. "He admitted that it was him, but he said that he should be allowed to do it. That it was a wipe-clean surface so it didn’t matter."

"Were you convinced by that?" asked Charlie.

"I told him to fuck off and never come back..." grinned Joe. "He was banned for life. I’m not a fan of shit at the best of times, but I'm not here to clean up after someone who takes random dumps in public places just because it turns them on."

"No. Exactly..." nodded Charlie. "I’m pretty sure that wasn’t in the job description."

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