How to choose your swimwear

Want to turn some heads on the beach?

How to choose your swimwear

Choosing the right swimmers is essential — your choice of swimwear needs to be appropriate for the situation

  • Contact sports such as water polo require something tight and tough.
  • Surfing requires something long and colourful.
  • Turning heads pool-side requires something sheer and sexy.

My worst swimwear-related wardrobe malfunction was the first time that I tried water polo. I was fairly apprehensive about the whole thing, but wanted to make a good impression, so I wore a pair of black Armani swimmers — very stylish and quite flattering, but obviously only designed for lounging in the sun. After being introduced to the team, the captain told me to dive in and swim a few widths of the pool. As my body hit the water I could instantly feel that I was leaving my trunks behind me. I spent the rest of the training session pulling up my trunks which made it almost impossible to swim, or catch the ball — both fairly essential skills in water polo.

The only see-through pair of swimming trunks that I’ve ever bought was an ice-blue speedo from Aussiebum. I think I may have ordered them when drunk. There really should be a law against shopping after drinking — the combination of mis-placed confidence in your looks, and a lack of regard for your credit card debts is a recipe for disaster. I wore them a couple of times to water polo training to the general embarrassment of my team-mates. I did also give them an outing on the beach at Mykonos that summer — again, there may have been alcohol involved in that scenario.

Choosing the right swimwear — it’s not as easy as you’d think!