How to plan a sex party
Simple tips for maximising the fun for everyone.
It's always fun to get a few guys together, get naked, and see where that takes you.
But what are some of the essentials that you need to be thinking about when planning a sex party?
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Who do you want there?
Anonymous fun can be a total turn-on, if that's what you're into. But it's not a bad idea to think about the guest-list and make sure that the guys that you're bringing together are going to deliver the vibe that you're looking for.
You don't necessarily need to have personally met everyone that you invite, but ideally you'll have had some sort of communication with them or know that they're being vouched for by someone that you trust.
An important consideration is not only whether you find potential guests sexually appealing but will they connect with each other? You need to curate a group that is going to all be on the same page when it comes to getting naked and getting it on.
What sort of party do you want?
Sex parties come in all shapes and sizes. You might just want to freestyle it and see what happens, or you might want to set some rules. It could be a circle jerk, it could be a drug-free sober space, or it could be an opportunity to explore a specific fetish.
Having some different spaces designated can be helpful. For example, you could say that the living room is a social space and that the bedroom is where the sex is going to happen.
Are you offering food? Do you want guests to bring food? Drinks? Music? Porn? Sometimes, guys need a break from the sex and just want to be a bit more social and conversational. Or maybe you're not really interested in the social aspect and it's just going to be wall-to-wall sex from start to finish.
Having that intention clear in your own mind at the beginning of your planning process - and effectively communicating that to your guests - will help ensure that everyone knows what kind of event that they're coming to and that everyone has a good time.
Do you want an audience?
Different cities will have different rules about what people can see you getting up to in your own home. It's generally a smart move to close the curtains and avoid fucking on the balcony - unless you know that the neighbours will probably be into it, and you're confident that you're not breaking any local laws.
If you want to lean into your exhibitionist kink, you could stream the entire thing online.
Be proactive about health
While you can be confident that you're up-to-date with your STI testing and any treatment required, you don't have any control of what your guests are bringing to the table.
It might sound like a bit of a boner-killer but it's not a bad idea to mention "regular testing" somewhere in your joining instructions. Also, if someone has got some kind of seasonal cough or flu, you don't want them bringing that to the party and sharing it with everyone else.
Provide a bit of structure
Some guys can feel intimidated or overwhelmed by the prospect of walking in to an event that's just a straight-up sex-party. It might be helpful to create a sense of structured intimacy to help everyone navigate their way into the energy of the room and the sexual connections you're hoping will flow.
You don't have to overthink it, but maybe there's some kind of activity to kick things off - you want something that gets everyone naked and interacting with each other. Naked Twister is a classic for a reason, but it could be a massage exchange, or a Mario Kart challenge, or body-painting. Give the introverts and those of us on the spectrum some kind of framework to hang onto.
Make it easy for guests to wash up after
Clean-up options are always a fairly high priority for a sex-party.
If you're a guest at a party, be self-sufficient – make sure you’ve got a bottle of hand sanitiser and some wipes in your baise-en-ville. Take a towel with you - if having a shower is an option, the host is unlikely to have enough towels for everyone.
If you're hosting, paper towels, access to a shower, and wipe-clean surfaces are a good starting point.
Relax and enjoy
Hosting a sex-party is really just like hosting any other party. You've got to be comfortable inviting other people into your home and you've got to be able to let go and enable people to have a good time.
A sex-party should be fun for everyone, including the host.
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Gareth Johnson