Grabbys Spotlight: CheekySubBoy
Targeting trophies in Torremolinos.
As we count down towards the Grabby Awards in Torremolinos, we caught up with CheekySubBoy.
Gareth Johnson
CheekySubBoy is nominated in four categories:
- Best Bottom
- Newcomer of the Year
- Duo Scene of the Year
- Group Scene of the Year
Gareth Johnson
You said that winning a Grabby Award would be much needed representation for men from the South Asian and Arab communities. Why is that important to you?
We're a very underrepresented community, particularly within this industry.
I only just started out a couple of years ago myself. When I entered, I could barely see any of that representation.
I guess there's a lot of stigma attached to being gay if you're from a South Asian community or Arab community background.
I went through my down-low era before coming out - most down-low guys I tend to come across are Arab or South Asian.
For a long time, I was not only rejecting my sexuality, but I was also rejecting of my own heritage, my own skin colour, my own race. I feel that a lot of people of colour go through that experience growing up.
I'm showing the world and the industry that people from my background or a similar background can make it into the industry - as scary and as nerve-wracking as it is.
I get a lot of South Asian and Arab followers and subscribers who DM me to say that they're really proud of the work I'm doing and they thank me for it. They are telling me that I'm living their fantasy or their dream and that it's something that they would never imagine they could do. They're thankful that someone is representing them within the industry.
It's nice to get that recognition and that makes being nominated for the Grabby Awards that little bit more important to me.
You touched on your journey with your sexuality and your confidence - how did you start to discover and explore that performing on camera and that creating content was something that not only resonated with you, but that you're really passionate about?
It was something that I never thought I'd be doing - not in a million years.
I think that what changed was just growing confidence.
In my younger years, I was not only rejecting my own skin colour, I was rejecting every part of me. I had no confidence, no self-esteem. I felt that I couldn't attract anyone. That slowly changed as I started to go through a journey of improving confidence and seeing potential in myself.
I got validation through Snapchat - posting on my public story daily and then just seeing followers grow. It was harmless stuff - a few thirst-traps, topless, or just going about being my goofy self day-to-day. Then, it kind of grew from the odd comment or suggestion - people would message saying that I should do an OnlyFans.
Initially, I was like - definitely not. But as my confidence developed, I just thought, why not?
That must have felt like quite a personal risk for you?
It was. It took me about a month of going back and forth thinking whether or not I should do it.
When I made my Twitter, initially I wasn't going to show my face. That lasted about a few days.
I think that I've reached a point where you go through enough life experiences - you realise that it's not actually harming anyone and there are bigger things to be worrying about than what people think about me.
You talked about how growing up you were struggling with accepting every part of you - that must have had an impact on your body-confidence and your relationship with your body. When you started getting naked on camera and filming collabs, how was that for you in terms of getting your clothes off in front of other people and knowing that other people were going to be watching what you were doing? Was that something you had to navigate at all?
As a kid, I'd get so nervous at going swimming because it would mean people would see my body - I hated the idea. I'd used to try and go in with a t-shirt or something like that.
But I'm at a point where I don't care how I appear or what people think of me.
Even now, I have psoriasis - it's really bad a lot of the time. Lots of people who have psoriasis stop filming when they're in the middle of a flare-up. But happy for people to see that I'm not perfect.
It sounds like the work that you're doing in the adult entertainment industry has helped normalise your relationship with your body and build your confidence. Do you feel like you've got further work to do in that respect or have you reached a level of body confidence where you can do anything?
I don't think you can ever get to a point of being 100 percent perfectly secure and confident - I've still got a long way to go with defeating a lot of insecurities. I'm better at maybe masking them or being aware of them and just knowing that they're insecurities and nothing more.
What about your experience of intimacy - how has your work in adult entertainment shaped that for you? Are you keeping a clear distinction between the work you do on camera and what happens in your private life, or are the two bleeding together somehow?
I'm still figuring that one out.
You can easily fall into the trap of where sex just becomes business or business becomes about sex - you're looking for all the opportunities to make content, even when you're in an intimate moment with someone.
I went through a phase last year where I was just smashing out loads of collabs. I did notice myself enjoying sex less at that point - I love sex, it takes a lot for me to not enjoy it. That's when I realised that I needed to just slow it down and enjoy meeting people off-camera as well.
As slutty as I can be, I'm equally needy - I require a lot of attention, tactile touching and hugging and cuddling and things like that.
Looking beyond the Grabby Awards. What else is on your vision-board for the months ahead?
Keep doing what I'm doing and always just thinking outside the box.
I always think - "what if I run out of ideas of creativity?" But I do have an ADHD brain so I'm always thinking of ideas and group projects. I just want to continue doing bigger things and also niche things that are part of CheekySubBoy that I'm trying to explore and see where that takes me.
I just run with my ideas and what's really nice is that a lot of content creators I've worked with seem to appreciate or just go along with it and see where it goes, which is really nice.
Voting for the Grabby Awards is now open.
Gareth Johnson
