All about erections
Let's get to grips with this important subject.
Obviously, as guys, we think about our penis a lot. We’re constantly touching it, adjusting it, jacking it, and finding ways and means to get off and shoot a load of cum.
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However, most guys generally don’t spend a lot of time thinking about how their penis actually works.
How does the penis go from soft to hard? If everything is working properly, it all just seems to magically happen when you need it – and frequently when you don’t.
When you turn your mind to it, erections are fairly fascinating things. When a guy is sexually aroused, blood flows into the chambers within his penis, engorging it, making it hard.
When you’re in the mood, ready for action, the clothes have come off, and it’s go-time, getting an erection shouldn’t really be something you’re consciously thinking about – your body knows what to do.
How does my penis go from soft to hard?
An erection is the stiffening and rising of the penis. This occurs during sexual arousal, although it can also happen in non-sexual situations. Spontaneous or non-sexual erections can occur due to friction with clothing, a full bladder, or nervousness. It’s also normal for guys to get erections while sleeping and upon waking.
The physiological mechanism that creates an erection is the dilation of the arteries that supply blood to the penis. This dilation allows additional blood to fill the three spongy tissue chambers in the penis, causing it to lengthen and stiffen. The now-engorged erectile tissue presses against and constricts the veins that carry blood away from the penis. More blood enters than leaves the penis until an equilibrium is reached – you now have an equal volume of blood flowing into the dilated arteries and out of the constricted veins. This is what gets your penis hard and keeps it hard until the additional blood is released from the erectile tissue chambers.
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Why "grower or shower?" is a redundant question
Logically, realistically, practically – our worth is not measured in dick-size. Whatever your dick looks like, you can be an amazing person. Whatever your dick looks like, you can have amazing sex and leave your hook-ups beyond satisfied.
However, we live in a culture that seems to inherently equate big with better.
Given that we have zero control over the size of our dick, that leaves many of us battling body-anxiety. That kind of constant worry about how other people perceive your body can really fuck with your head – particularly when you want them to find you physically attractive, particularly when you want them to get up close and personal with your dick.
Which is how we end up at the question: “Are you a grower or a shower?”
What does it mean if your penis is a “grower, not a shower”?
On one hand, it’s an innocuous enough question – we’re just curious, right? What does your dick look like when it’s soft? What does it look like when it’s hard? Does it look on the small side but then balloon up when erect or is it pretty much what it looks like on the tin?
But the subtext of that question obviously triggers our body-anxiety. The assessment and comparison of penis-size is the focus. It’s a conversation that assumes that smaller penises are something to be embarrassed about and apologised for – it triggers all of our worst instincts.
Again, it’s worth emphasising that we have no control over what our dick looks like. Whether you have an uncut or cut dick is rarely something that you’ve had any input in. How your dick looks when soft or hard is all down to the way your DNA has assembled your genetic information.
Placing judgement or value on something that we have zero control over is unfair. But given that the size of your dick really has no bearing on whether you’re an interesting person or a good fuck, it’s kind of crazy how much time and energy we spend obsessing about it.
Why does my flaccid dick look smaller than others before it’s hard?
If you’re a dude who has sex with other dudes, then you inevitably get plenty of opportunities to compare what your dick looks like in relation to other guys.
While guys with objectively big dicks aren’t having a crisis about why their cock looks bigger than everyone else’s, those of us that are on the smaller side have to find a way to navigate the anxiety that accompanies the realisation that we’re not the biggest on the team.
While things such as overall health and age can play a factor in what your dick looks like – both when it’s soft and when it’s hard – it pretty much all comes down to genetics. Your genes are what’s passed down from your family – the generations that have come before you. Your genes carry all sorts of information that make you who you are – particularly when it comes to your appearance. In simple terms, if you feel like your dick is a bit on the smaller side, probably all the men in your family felt the same way.
Environmental factors can play a role in what your dick looks like. For example, if the weather is cold, your dick is going to look smaller. If you’re sitting in a hot-tub or a sauna, your dick is going to look bigger.
If your weight is fluctuating, you might feel that your dick looks bigger when you’re leaner. It’s an optical illusion but you might feel that your dick is more visible when you lose weight. That also works if you’re a hairy dude – trim a bit of the hair off and everyone will be able to see a bit more of your dick.
How can I make my penis look bigger?
It’s a common experience that getting in your head or overthinking things can lead to performance anxiety during sex.
That can be challenging enough in a one-on-one situation, but our anxieties are likely to be amplified if we're heading into a group event, sex-on-premises venue, or a sex club.
If you want to boost your confidence a little in relation to how your dick looks, here’s a few things worth trying.
Manscape
A bit of manscaping goes a long way.
Trimming: Use electric clippers or scissors to reduce the volume of your pubes. The more prominent and visible that your penis is, the bigger it appears to be.
Shaving: It’s not essential to shave everything but it is definitely going to maximise how much people can see of your cock. Some guys will find smoothness a turn-on, some guys will find it a turn-off. Make your manscaping decisions based on what you like, not the opinions of anyone else.
Waxing: Waxing delivers longer-lasting results than shaving but this is best done by a professional. For some of us, our skin doesn’t react well to waxing - it's worth doing a test if it’s your first time.
Laser Hair Removal: This is expensive and takes a number of treatments in order to reduce hair growth. It’s semi-permanent but you will need to occasionally get it redone to prevent your pubes from growing back.
Take advantage of the darkroom
If your body-anxiety is holding you back from enjoying yourself at a sex-on-premises venue, heading to the darkroom is a sensible strategy. If guys can’t really see what’s going on, no one is going to be looking at your dick.
A steam-room in a bathhouse is another good option if you’re looking for sexual encounters in a low-visibility environment.
Can taking Viagra make my penis look less flaccid?
Erectile dysfunction medication such as Viagra or the generic sildenafil works by increasing blood flow to your dick – helping you to get erect and stay erect when you’re aroused.
The benefits of Viagra really only kick in when your body starts to feel aroused, so simply taking the pill isn’t going to have a visual impact on your flaccid cock.
However, if you’re feeling the vibe, you’ll probably find yourself chubbing up and getting a semi without much effort – that’s always a good look in a sex-on-premises venue.
The bottom line is that you need to be in the right head-space to relax and enjoy the sexual energy in the room. Taking a Viagra isn’t going to do that work for you.
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Erectile Dysfunction
If your penis isn’t getting hard when you need it to, this can be a source of major anxiety. If you’re not confident that you’re going to be able to sustain an erection, this can have a huge impact on your sex life, your social life, and your mental health.
Why can’t I get an erection?
If you’re having problems getting or sustaining an erection, it’s important to remember that this is actually really common – most guys will experience some form of erectile dysfunction at some point in their lives.
One of the complexities about erectile dysfunction is that there’s lots of factors that might be at play – it could be physical factors, psychological factors, lifestyle factors, or a combination of all three.
Physical factors that could be impacting your erections could include weight gain, diabetes, heart disease, prostate cancer, low testosterone levels, or side-effects from medication.
Psychological factors that could be impacting your erections could include stress, anxiety, or depression.
Lifestyle factors that could be impacting your erections could include smoking, alcohol, drugs, or fatigue.
If you’re experiencing erectile dysfunction only occasionally, then you might be able to figure out the likely issues – maybe you were really tired, maybe you’d had too much to drink – but if it’s happening regularly then you need to see a doctor to try and get to the bottom of the problem and make sure that there’s nothing more serious going on.
Erectile dysfunction can strike at any age, but becomes significantly more prevalent as you get older. The National Health Service in the UK estimates that around 40 percent of men who are over 40 experience erectile dysfunction some of the time – and the older you get, the more likely you are to have problems in the erection department.
Health professionals generally talk about erections in degrees of hardness. There’s usually four categories – from soft to hard – Tofu, Peeled Banana, Banana, or Cucumber. An incredibly simple but effective system, it’s an easy way to visualise and articulate what’s going on with your body.
Make sure that you’re getting regular check-ups from a doctor. Regular health-checks will help to monitor things such as blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol – all of which can be factors that could impact your erections. Having a health check once a year will help identify any changes that your body may be experiencing as you get older.
Should I change my diet to improve my erections?
There’s a fair bit of a debate about the role that diet plays in your sexual performance. There are some studies that have shown that embracing a vegan diet improves the quality of a guy’s erection - this makes sense in the broader context of how our physical and mental health translates into sexual performance.
If you’ve got health issues such as diabetes, vascular problems, or obesity, then it’s fairly clear that this is going to have a direct and negative impact on your erections.
If you’d like to improve the quality of your erections, taking a look at your diet is a good starting point – there’s no down-side to eating a bit healthier.
Getting some exercise is also going to be a win-win. Even if it’s just going for a bit of a walk each day – the better you feel then the more your body is going to respond to the cues of sexual arousal.
Also, take a look at your relationships with alcohol, smoking, and recreational drugs.
Get your head in the game to improve your erections
Your mental health plays a key role in your sex life. If you’re feeling stressed, or if you’re battling with anxiety or depression, get some help to get things back on track before it starts to impact the functioning of your erections.
Should I be taking medication for erectile dysfunction?
There’s lots of different erectile dysfunction medications out there – products such as Viagra and Cialis are the most common.
If you’re thinking about taking something like Viagra or Cialis, it’s a good idea to talk to your doctor about it – they can make sure that you don’t have any underlying conditions or other prescriptions that might be incompatible with erectile dysfunction medication.
If you can’t get access to a doctor, or you’re too embarrassed to discuss it, there’s likely to be an online prescription service that will be able to deliver the medication to you. If you're buying online, make sure that you're buying from a regulated pharmaceutical supplier. There's lots of fake products being sold on social media - these are likely to be ineffective and could be potentially harmful.
It can be good fun to experiment with products such as Viagra and Cialis. Ideally, you wouldn’t be dependent on them, but they can give you a different kind of erection experience. Especially if you’re wanting an extended session of sexual fun, boosting your erection with some pharmaceutical assistance can help you maintain your erection for longer and also delay ejaculation.
A lot of our issues with getting and maintaining erections are more psychological than physical. Particularly if you’re a bit anxious about getting it on with someone new, that anxiety can translate directly into a disappointing erection. Giving yourself a bit of a boost with a product such as Viagra or Cialis can help you head into a hook-up with confidence.
Are there any side-effects to taking Erectile Dysfunction medication?
One of the most common treatments for erectile dysfunction is Sildenafil – a pharmaceutical medication which is sold as Viagra. Other variations of this medication are sold as Levitra, or Cialis.
This type of medication is described as a PDE5 inhibitor. The medication works by blocking an enzyme called phosphodiesterase type 5 as well as boosting a chemical in your body called nitric oxide. The effect of the medication encourages the muscles in your penis to relax, allowing blood to flow freely so that you can achieve and sustain an erection.
This is a medication that is taken orally – as a pill.
Like any medication, you may experience some side-effects from taking Sildenafil or related products. This could include nausea, dizziness, an upset stomach, headaches, or muscle aches.
Most guys are able to take Erectile Dysfunction medication without experiencing any side-effects.
If you are experiencing side-effects, speak with your doctor to adjust your medication.
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Gareth Johnson