Getting intimate with Chris Mitchell
We talk dating challenges when you work in the adult entertainment industry.
For many people, being a porn performer comes with plenty of assumptions… especially when it comes to dating, relationships, family, and where the person on camera ends and the person behind the scenes begins. But as Chris Mitchell makes clear, real life can sometimes be even more surprising than anything happening in front of the camera.
From his mother calling to check in while he’s filming to an awkward high school reunion encounter, navigating overly enthusiastic fans, and building a marriage with someone who understands exactly what he does for a living, he has plenty of stories to tell. In this interview, we go beyond the scenes and get a more personal look at his relationships, boundaries, dating experiences, and the sometimes hilarious reality of having a career that makes you instantly recognizable.
Honest, funny, and refreshingly candid, he opens up about what it’s really like balancing a public porn persona with a private life; and why, at the end of the day, knowing the real person behind the performer is what matters most.
Let’s jump right into it!
What’s the wildest reaction you’ve gotten from someone after they found out you do gay porn?
I should have never told my mother. Now she will call my cell when she knows I’m filming to check in and see how it’s going.
Have you ever gone on a date with someone who was clearly more interested in your porn persona than in you as a person? How could you tell?
It wasn’t a date, it was more like a stalker one time who just couldn’t recognise the boundaries of porn versus my real life. He was a huge fan and meant no harm, but he just went too far. I had to confront him, sit him down and explain how he was crossing the line. It was challenging because I didn’t want to embarrass him or hurt his feelings, but he needed to be reminded to respect my privacy off camera.
Has being recognisable from your scenes ever made a normal date awkward or unexpectedly funny?
The most awkward time was at my high school reunion a few years ago. The husband of one of my former classmates kept telling me how familiar I looked. He kept asking if we’d met before. I said, I didn’t think so. Towards the end of the evening, by the look on his face, he’d clearly figured it out.
Would you be comfortable with your partner watching your scenes, or would you rather they didn’t?
I’m perfectly fine with my husband watching my scenes. To be honest, he’s seen so many he thinks a lot of them are hilarious because of either the crazy storyline or my goofy acting. He always giggles the whole time watching my pro wrestling videos.
Have you ever caught yourself comparing a real-life hookup or relationship to something that happened on camera?
I have a couple of real-life fuck buddies whom I’ve also done scenes with. It boils down to the fact we always have fun fucking, whether it’s on camera or not. That familiarity always shows on camera. But comparing the two, fucking on film is always work, fucking privately isn’t.
What’s harder: finding someone who accepts your career, or finding someone you actually want to build a relationship with?
A few months after we were engaged, I told Ed I wanted to do porn. Fortunately he knew how crazy I was, so he wasn’t too surprised. He just wanted to make sure about two things. One was that I’d be very careful. The other was that he wanted me to do a scene with Derek Parker. We were married shortly after my first scene was released and Derek was also in the same movie. So I think the key factor is that both partners should know each other well enough in order to build a healthy relationship and listen to the needs of the other person..
Have you ever dated another performer and found that the two of you understood each other in a way that someone outside the industry couldn’t?
I think the older, more mature performers in the industry tend to understand each other better.
How do you deal with fans hitting on you; or even messaging you for dates, when you’re already seeing someone?
My husband always comes first. And I mean that both literally and figuratively. But some of these guys can be very demanding and just automatically expect me to whip out my cock and make their dreams come true. And it absolutely, positively has to be me that’s the one that does it. And afterward I’m supposed to invite a bunch of other tops to come over to fuck them too. Jeez, that’s a lot of pressure from someone I’ve never met before and may never see again.
I have to explain that I need to know a guy really well, first and foremost. Also, I’m actually mostly a bottom in real life and there is no roaming group of tops, on-call 24/7, available at a moment’s notice, to immediately come over and bang them.
What’s one boundary you absolutely need a partner to respect when it comes to your work?
Ed has learned over the years that when it comes to my work, I’m usually horny as fuck when I get home after filming all day.
If your future partner had never watched porn before meeting you, would you encourage them to watch your work, or would you rather they get to know the “real you” first?
Oh please, you know the minute they find out, they head directly to Pornhub, or ThisVid or Bareback Bastards. I’d actually be worried if they didn’t.
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Chris Mitchell's ideal date-night
Gareth Johnson