Gooning and Bating: Is compulsive masturbation your chemsex trigger?
It might be helpful to set yourself some limits.
A long, uninterrupted masturbation session is a pretty joyous thing, but if extended gooning and bating becomes entwined with your use of chems, you may might need to find a way to break that pattern of behaviour.
Maybe you’re opting for a solo bate session because you’re struggling to meet other guys, or maybe you’ve been to a chill-out but aren’t ready to sleep when you get home, or maybe you just prefer to get high by yourself - there’s nothing wrong with masturbation but it might be part of your relationship with drugs and you may be wanting to change that relationship.
If you’re spending hours and hours on your own, taking drugs while watching porn and masturbating, that’s time when you should probably be sleeping, or at work, or getting some exercise, or spending time with family and friends. When we’re immersed in an extended bate session, we’re often scrolling through endless porn streams - trying to find the perfect scene, the porn that you need to get you off, but also wanting to continue to endlessly edge yourself and delay the cum-shot that will call time on you session.
Here’s some helpful tips that might help you enjoy a quick wank without spiralling into a lubed-up porn rabbit-hole.
Set a time limit
Before you fire up the porn and begin your bate session, it’s worth reminding yourself that - at some point - you will need to stop masturbating. You might masturbate for one hour or 12 hours, but at some point you will stop. The longer you spend in front of your computer, taking drugs and jacking off, the bigger the higher price you will have to pay in terms of physical tiredness as well as feelings such as shame, guilt, or regret.
Try setting an alarm on your phone to keep you aware of the passing of time. Sure, you might snooze the alarm a couple of times, but if you set yourself an objective to cum after an hour of masturbating, then the external reminder of the alarm may help to motivate you to get on with the job.
Plan your come-down
A porn-fuelled bate session can be a useful way to ease your come-down after a chems session. It’s a bit of a mind-numbing activity that helps us to make that transition from a drug-fuelled headspace into a relaxed and meditative headspace.
If you’re ready to bring the session to a close, the first step is to not take any more chems - the sooner you stop, the sooner that you begin to feel tired and be able to sleep.
Make an effort to try and drink and eat something while you’re watching porn and masturbating. This will help your body come off the high of chems and remind you that you are tired and need sleep.
Curate your porn
One of the reasons that we get caught in a porn-loop is that we’re endlessly searching for the ‘perfect’ scene that will get us off.
We’re always looking for something new, something that pushes us a bit deeper into our fantasies, something that reflects the intensity of the lust that we’re feeling and experiencing.
Because we’ve all pretty much seen it all before, no matter how long you search and bate you’re never really going to find the ‘perfect’ scene.
One way to try and avoid this spiral is to have some go-to classics lined up and ready to go. Sure, it’s fun to search around and see if there’s anything new that catches your eye, but if you’re over an hour into your bate and your alarm has gone off, then it’s time to reach for the scenes that you know will push your buttons and take you over the edge so you can blow your load and get the job done.
Be prepared for the post-nut clarity
Post-nut clarity is that unique window of time after you’ve blown your load and you’re feeling a bit raw and exposed about everything that brought you to that moment.
You could be feeling a bit of shame or embarrassment about the type of porn that you got off to, you might be feeling regret about the drugs you’ve taken, you might be feeling guilt about what you compromised in order to chase your high, or you might be feeling lonely that the session is over and you’re in bed by yourself.
Try setting yourself a plan on how to navigate that post-nut clarity. Writing down your emotions is often helpful, or maybe have a breathing exercise that you could focus on, or have a bath or a shower. It doesn’t have to be over-complicated, you just need a way that allows yourself to move past your post-nut clarity and move forward.
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