Mr Kink Rentals: The interview

For our podcast, Naked Men Talking, we caught up with Dustin from Mr Kink Rentals in Palm Springs.

In the conversation, we talk overcoming shame, navigating BDSM, and the kink scene in Palm Springs.

Listen to the episode

How did you identify that there was a gap and that there was a need for BDSM rental service in Palm Springs?

Well, of course it started with a night out at the bar. Somebody said something about renting a sling. And I was just struck by it. I was like, is that even a thing? Can you do that? There was a company that was doing that in Palm Springs, but I'd never heard of them and talking to people around town people, no one knew that it was an option. So I just felt like maybe there's something here - we could make something happen.

Were you actively looking for a new business venture or this was just like the universe lined up for you and said, this is your path?

I'm always looking for something new. I have kind of an entrepreneurial mind, but I've never done anything. I've had lots of ideas. And so this just started as one of those ideas. this sounds fun. Let's see what we can do with it.

The obvious need is that equipment such as slings - they're high priced items, aren't they? They're not cheap. So a rental service does kind of make sense. But it's a relatively intimate piece of equipment. Do you want someone's pre-loved sling? I guess there is a kink for that?

There is a kink for everything but we also have a strict cleaning process so.

What sort of BDSM equipment are people looking for in Palm Springs?

Right now, I have a few slings, a few fuck benches, a couple of St. Andrew's crosses, a couple of cages.

How big are the cages?

They're not big, but they're bigger than a dog cage or whatever - you're kind of crouched in the cage. I have some rim chairs and a fuck machine. I haven't rented the fuck machine yet. That is a very intimate piece of equipment because it has has a dildo on the end. So I really haven't marketed that piece too much just because it is a lot more intimate.

But instinctively it feels like there is a need for that as well because people have that fuck machine fantasy but the actual price on that - if you're not sure it's for you - that's a big outlay.

Right, and that's the whole thing behind all of this equipment.

In Palm Springs, a lot of people that live here have the equipment. If they're into it, they have it. They have the space for it. A lot of people have dedicated spaces for it. So half of my market is people traveling here that don't want to or can't travel with the bulky equipment.

The other side of the market is people that have never even tried it. Because there aren't many places that you can try it. A bathhouse isn't for everybody. And that's where most of us have experienced these pieces of equipment.

To me - having never been there - Palm Springs seems like the obvious location for this business because you've got a pretty strong queer community with the time and the money to enjoy stuff like this?

I call it a gay mecca in the United States. There is a large kink community here besides just the regular vacationer.

Are there a number of kink-focused clubs and bars? How does that kink community come together?

We have a really large Palm Springs Leather Order of the Desert. I just went to my first meeting there last week. It was really great. It's mostly business, but also talking about volunteering for events. We have a Palm Springs Leather Pride - it's the week before the regular Pride in November.

What happens at the meetings of the Leather Order of the Desert?

It's an amazing group. They have three pillars.

The first one is sex and play. They create spaces for that, and have events around sex and, and play.

Then, education is another one of their three pillars. Which is really great because there's not a lot of education - especially around kink play.

Then community and brotherhood is the third pillar.

Does everyone wear their kink gear to the meeting?

A lot of people were in leather, but a lot of people were in just regular street clothes as well. In August, it's not a great time to be wearing your leather gear.

What initially drew you to the world of kink and BDSM?

I think it's just been part of the exploration of, you know, coming from a small town in rural Wyoming, with a Christian background - very conservative, so suppressed, you know, as far as any kind of sexual experimentation.

As I left that and I first went to Seattle, I just started exploring and found out, you know, there's a lot more to be discovered than just the missionary style.

What do you think it might have been about those early kink explorations that resonated with you and gave you a sense of, this is where I want to put my energy. This is the direction I'm leaning in.

I think it is partly the community. Then there's the individual kinks - I enjoy power play and that kind of thing. So that really felt right.

You talked about growing up in a rural part of the world and a conservative part of the world and the repression that came with that. How did that manifest in terms of your relationship with your body when you're growing up?

We didn't talk about anything in my family as far as bodies or sex or anything like that. And I was always ashamed of my body. I was too skinny or I was too hairy or whatever.

Can you remember how old you were when that shame kicked in? Was that a puberty thing - your body started changing and it wasn't kind of matching up with what you wanted?

Definitely. I just really remember those experiences like in PE, like in middle school even, in the showers. And, you know, I've obviously got a lot of hair. I started getting that in puberty and I was one of the few people that had body hair.

I would never shower. We'd get in trouble if we didn't shower after PE, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get out of there.

I used to shave it all off. I used to trim it. And I was so thankful when I moved to Seattle, and there's a big bear community in Seattle - guys were like, don't you dare touch that.

Is there scope to expand this business beyond Palm Springs? Can the rental business go into other locations? Are you thinking nationally? Are you going to franchise the sling rentals?

I would love to. I keep telling people if it doesn't make it here, it won't make it anywhere. One of my best friends and kind of my business partner lives in New York City, so I would love that to be the next location to explore. It's totally different market. I think the market there more is people that live there - they don't have the place to store it - it would be more of a market for people that live there, I think.

Do you have to show people how to put them up? Or is everyone pretty clued into how a sling works?

That's part of my white glove service. I set it up for you. Part of that also is a little bit liability - I want to make sure it's set up correctly so that they're hooked up right and everything. Then I might demonstrate it as well. You never know.

Does it feel like a sexy business to be in or do you just become a bit blind to the context in which you're operating?

I love it. It's a whole discussion, especially if people have questions. So that's kind of fun. And yeah, just getting to their hotel, their Airbnb or whatever, and setting it all up and the conversation then is about what their plan is, whether it's a group of friends at the Airbnb or if they're inviting people over to the hotel or whatever it is. So it always kind of turns a little sexual in the conversation at the very least.

How do you think your younger self would feel knowing where you'd ended up and what you were doing?

I would be very shocked. But in one way I wish my younger self would have known that these kinds of things were okay. Everything was backed up with guilt when it came to sex and our bodies when I was younger. It would be nice maybe that I wouldn't know all about this, you know, because this is like a step further, but at least that it's okay.

If someone was kink curious but not sure where to start, what advice or guidance would you give them?

First, it's okay to say no. When you're exploring kinks and especially in power play situations, sometimes it gets uncomfortable and goes too far and it's okay to say no.

You're not going to like everything. It's good to push boundaries, but know that not every kink is for you.

What would be a good entry level piece of BDSM equipment to rent if you're thinking, maybe I want to give this a try. What would you be recommending?

I would recommend a sling. They're sexy, it's one of the most common, it's what people rent the most. But also, a fuck-bench is fun and even a little bit more versatile than a sling, because there's not a whole lot you can do with a sling. A fuck-bench is a little bit of a simpler piece of equipment. So that can be fun.