What do I need to know about a bathhouse before going for the first time?

If you're thinking about making your first visit to a gay sauna or a bathhouse, you might be a bit anxious - trying to imagine what it will be like when you get there and how you'll navigate the experience.

Here's some tips.

Cash

Some bathhouses are cash-only. You will need to pay for entry, and you might want to buy some drinks or snacks while you’re there.

Increasingly, bathhouses will take card payments but – if you’re on the down-low – you may not want the name of a bathhouse appearing on your bank statement.

Footwear

It’s advisable to wear something on your feet. Some bathhouses provide flip-flops, but it’s generally best to take your own.

Lockers

Most bathhouses will provide lockers.

Even if there is a locker, don’t leave anything too valuable in there. Travel light.

Accessories

Most bathhouses will provide lube, but it’s not going to be the best quality. You might want to think about taking your own. Same goes for condoms if you want to use them. Poppers, a cock ring, some toys, or a douche are other things you might want to pack in your gym bag.

Due to drug-control measures, some bathhouses may be very strict about what you’re allowed to take with you or access from your locker. Don’t get upset – follow whatever rules the bathhouse is operating under.

Drugs

Don’t take drugs at a bathhouse, or go to a bathhouse when you’re high. Don’t share drinks with other guys. Don’t get drunk.

If bathhouse staff suspect that you may be carrying drugs, or they find drugs on you, they may be obliged to call the police.

Communication

Saunas and sex-on-premises venues are places where words are kept to a minimum. There’s probably going to be some loud dance music providing the soundtrack to your experience. Most communication is carried out through body language. If verbal communication is required, keeping it brief is essential.

If there’s a lounge or bar area, this tends to be more of a social place.

Cruising

Take your time. Don’t rush things. Get a feel for the place, see who’s there. Be relaxed – see who’s catching your eye and whether you’re catching anyone’s attention.

If there's a hot-tub, that's a good place to connect with guys. Same goes for the steam-room or dry sauna. If there's a space where porn is playing, that's also a good spot to position yourself while you scope out who's around.

Manners

Don’t be rude when guys you’re not interested in proposition you. A simple "no thanks" is all that's required.

Equally, if someone doesn't respond positively to you, don't take it personally - you just weren't what they were looking for. Shift your attention elsewhere.

Boundaries

You’re not obliged to have sex with anyone unless you want to. If someone can’t take no for an answer, or if you see something that looks non-consensual, let the staff know. That’s what they’re there for.

Six Degrees

Even in the biggest of cities, the chances of running into your neighbour, your boss, or a friend’s dad at a sauna can be quite high. It’s okay to acknowledge each other, but you’re not obliged to do anything more than that. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about – everyone is there for the same reasons.

Sex

You don’t actually have to have sex. If you don’t want to have sex, you don’t have to. You can also indulge your voyeuristic side and just watch or be watched. If the bathhouse has a pool or a gym, you can swim or have a work-out.

Many bathhouses also have lounges, video rooms, WiFi, massage services, and sleeping areas.