Book Club: Deep House - The Gayest Love Story Ever Told
The personal is political in this memoir by Jeremy Atherton Lin.
Published in 2025, Deep House: The Gayest Love Story Ever Told, is a memoir by Jeremy Atherton Lin.
What's it about?
Beginning in 1996, the story traces the budding romance between Jeremy and the British boy of his dreams.
As the story of their relationship unfolds, it is woven through the Marriage Equality debate in America.
Jeremy's primary interest in Marriage Equality is from an immigration perspective - looking to protect his relationship and stay together with his undocumented lover.
Lin gives us an intimate portrait of domestic queer life across the years, appropriating "the personal is political" from the second-wave feminism of Carol Hanisch - highlighting how political policy decisions were having a direct impact on the day-to-day existence of two queer men trying to build a life together.
Is Deep House worth reading?
This is a book that has interest on two levels - it's a thoughtful and reflective immersion into a queer relationship but also a timely recap of "how did we get here?" in terms of Marriage Equality in the United States.
Lin highlights the flaws and concerns with the queer community's aspiration for Marriage Equality. He also recognises his own limitations and self-interest in engaging with the issue.
By weaving the reality of his relationship through the timeline and debate surrounding Marriage Equality, Lin invites the reader to consider their own point of view and motivations.
What are the themes explored in Deep House?
The power of queer relationships is front and centre in Lin's story. What does it mean to build a life together? What sacrifices are we willing to make? How do we build community? What does it mean to feel at home?
Lin's husband is unnamed in the book - referred to as "Famous Blue Raincoat" or simply "Famous". It's consistent with Lin's previous book, Gay Bar: Why We Went Out. In Deep House, Lin writes as if he is addressing everything to his husband - the stylistic choice emphasising how the relationship is central to the experiences being documented.
There's also a strong sense that life just happens. Events are unfolding, choices are being made, but we don't have much of a plan or even communicate about what's going on. A suggestion to adopt a cat is a powerful signal of an intention to stay.
Polyamory is background context for the story of Lin and his husband. The book documents how they made the transition from a monogamous relationship into an open relationship - in a relatively drama-free way. Polyamory isn't a plot-point but just part of life.
Some of the complexities of queer theory are presented in an accessible way. Why are we focused on Marriage Equality? What alternatives are there? What compromises are we making by making Marriage the aspirational relationship?
Immigration is a question that defines Lin's relationship. Looking at the motivations as to why people migrate, the barriers that borders present, and the lengths that people will go through to overcome the obstacles that are preventing them from building the life they desire.
Systemic racism is also highlighted - both the reality of racism and how it shaped laws around marriage and immigration. Racial privilege is also evidenced - Lin's husband is a white man from the UK, so is less vulnerable than others.
Why is Deep House and important book for gay men?
This is a really helpful reminder of a lot of recent history that is easily forgotten. At a time when "equality" should not be taken for granted, it's important to understand the milestones that have paved the way for Marriage Equality and the complexities that surround queer relationships.
In addition, portraits of queer relationships are really powerful. Lin isn't setting out a blueprint for what domestic life should look like for gay men - he's simply sharing the story of the life that he and his husband have built together, and the challenges that they've navigated along the way.
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