Book Club: Mothers and Sons
A novel by Adam Haslett.
Published in 2025, Mothers and Sons is the third novel from Adam Haslett.
What's Mothers and Sons about?
Peter, an asylum lawyer in New York City, is overworked and isolated, spending his days immersed in the struggles of immigrants only to return to an empty apartment and occasional detached hook-ups. But when the asylum case of a young gay man pierces Peter’s numbness, the catastrophic event that he has avoided facing for twenty years returns to haunt him.
Ann, his mother, who runs a women’s retreat she founded after leaving his father, is hurt by her estrangement from Peter but cherishes the world she has built. She long ago put behind her the decision that divided her from her son. But as Peter’s case plunges him further into the fraught memory of his first love and the night of violence that changed his life, he and his mother must confront the secret that tore them apart.
What themes does the novel explore?
Alienation figures prominently in this story - alienation from family members but also alienation within a place or community, highlighting how our differences can separate us even from people who we should be close to.
Loneliness is also a theme that emerges strongly from this narrative. Peter specifically epitomises what the loneliness epidemic feels like for many gay men - working a lot, unable to let themselves be vulnerable, and not able to access meaningful intimacy or connection in any aspect of their lives.
Immigration is the context surrounding the rhythm of Peter's day-to-day life. People forced to move, forced into a life of transience and uncertainty, forced to navigate an opaque bureaucracy and legal system seemingly designed to make life miserable.
Guilt and internalised shame is what's motivating the choices that these characters are making. Peter carries the guilt he feels about Jared. Ann feels guilt and shame about leaving her marriage and the distance that created with her children. Vasel feels guilt and shame about the impact his actions have had on his family. Both Peter and Ann are using their work to try and atone for their past.
Why is this an important novel for gay men?
This is a novel that effectively speaks to the contemporary metropolitan experience of queer men. Peter is an attractive, successful man but feels lost and lonely.
It also contrasts the privilege of Peter's experience of his sexuality against Vasel - a refugee from Albania whose family tried to murder him because his sexuality brought shame on them.
Through these characters, Haslett is showing us how the stories that we tell ourselves - our version of events - shape who we become and how we see ourselves. Other people often see a different version of the same story. What if we changed our narrative? What if we interpreted our experiences differently? What if we wrote ourselves a new chapter? The more entrenched we become in the story that we tell ourselves, the harder it is to turn the page and take a fresh look at things.
Naked Men Talking: Book Club
What if we took our clothes off and talked about books?
Naked Men Talking: Events
Book Club is part of the series of events that are presented by Naked Men Talking.
