A mini-break in Morocco

Sometimes, you want to just opt out of the festive season altogether. Maybe you're going through some stuff in your relationship or with your family, maybe you don't feel like spending the holidays with other people, or maybe you've had all you can take of Christmas carols and tinsel and novelty sweaters. No judgement.

If opting out sounds appealing, then a mini-break to Morocco could be what you're looking for.

Marrakech was my destination last December - a 4-night solo trip.

My googling of "gay friendly accommodation in Marrakech" took me to Dar Zaman.

Technically, there is a difference between a Riad and a Dar. A Riad is a house with a courtyard garden, whereas a Dar is a house with a courtyard but no garden. A Dar is sort of a small version of a Riad. Dar Zaman was an old-style residence that had been converted into a small guesthouse.

It's not that I was looking for a particularly queer experience in Morocco. I was travelling by myself, I can tone down the faggotry when I have to. I wasn't looking for the Joe Orton experience. But I am undeniably a gay man and I didn't want the accommodation to be uncomfortable in that regard.

Dar Zaman was great. Easy to communicate with and they helpfully sorted out a transfer for me from the airport.

Once I'd been staying at Dar Zaman for a few days, I had a better sense of the neighbourhood and how to navigate through it. But I don't think I'd ever have found it that first night on my own - the dimly-lit and narrow alleyways had me feeling like I was walking in circles. Looking at the exterior of the building, it's hard to imagine the attractive courtyard and guesthouse that awaits inside.

By the time I arrived, it was late, and I was pleased that I'd accepted Dar Zaman's suggestion to have dinner in-house. Dinner was served to me beside an open fire in a cosy sitting room - lentils, followed by lamb tagine, and then orange cake for dessert. Delicious.

Day 2 of my Marrakech mini-break began with a half-day walking tour - organised through the guesthouse.

I'm not crazy about organised tours, but this was a one-on-one tour with Yussuf - an accredited local guide. As we wound our way through the narrow lanes of the medina - dodging the motorbikes that weaved through the crowds - I learned a lot about Morocco, Berber culture, the neighbourhood, and the artisans and craftsmen that create everything that is available for sale.

That evening, I'd arranged to again have dinner at Dar Zaman - vegetable soup, followed by a chicken tagine - I ate in front of the open fire. It was Christmas eve, there was no sign of any booze, there was no sign of Mariah Carey. Life was good.

Christmas Day, I fuelled up on breakfast - each day, breakfast was a feast and it was delicious - then tested my navigation skills to explore the medina.

I spent time in Le Jardin Secret and also the museum. The museum was okay, but the Secret Garden was particularly interesting - a haven of greenery amidst the hustle and bustle of the medina.

That evening, the team at the guesthouse recommended Limoni for dinner - a nearby restaurant. The courtyard of the restaurant was dominated by an enormous lemon tree, under which everyone was seated. I had another tagine. I'm a big fan of tagines.

Boxing Day, I'd signed up for a cooking class with Karima - the cook at Dar Zarman. To begin the cooking class experience, Adil took me to the local market to buy some vegetables. On the way, he pointed out the local community oven and the local hammam - each neighbourhood within the medina has a community oven, a hammam, as well as a small mosque.

"Perhaps you would like to try the hammam this afternoon?" suggested Adil.

I'd ruled out any of the touristy hammam experiences that I'd seen advertised, but an opportunity to experience a small local hammam was too good to pass up.

The cooking class was a joy. Karima delivered most of her instructions in French, with Adil on-hand to translate as required.

We prepared a lamb tagine with prunes, fried aubergine, a green bean salad, a tomato chutney, and an orange salad. I really enjoyed the whole process and got a better understanding of the flavours of Moroccan cuisine.

I got to eat everything that we'd prepared for my lunch. It was way too much food but I got through it.

"Are you ready for the hammam?" asked Adil, immediately after I'd finished my lunch.

Although I was struggling to fight off a food coma, I knew that I needed to man-the-fuck-up and push through.

The hammam was literally half a block from Dar Zarman. We stopped at a shop on the way to buy soap and then Adil helped me to pay for the ticket and explained to the guys at the hammam that I didn't speak any Arabic.

"Okay, take off your clothes here - leave your underwear on - then this man will be the one to wash you..." explained Adil. "I'll see you when you get back."

This wasn't something that I would have been confident enough to try and navigate on my own. Even with Adil's guidance and instruction, I still felt as if I was completely out of place, had no idea what was happening, and that I probably shouldn't be there.

I did my best to follow the gestures of the man designated to wash me. He wasn't particularly expressive but he manhandled me into the various positions required. I was doused with buckets of water, lathered up with soap, scrubbed with a brush, and then rinsed off with more buckets of water.

There were elements that were similar to an experience that I'd had in Istanbul, but this was a lot more functional. I felt a bit like a prize pig being pampered. I loved it.

Obviously, the hammam is a homosocial space. I'm used to navigating homosocial spaces but - contrary to my expectations or fantasies - I didn't really pick up any sexual energy or vibe. The hammam seemed busy with men of all ages, washing themselves, being scrubbed, sometimes scrubbing each other. There were plenty of young attractive men - most wearing quite loose-fitting shorts - I felt a bit conspicuous in my tight black briefs.

Maybe I was reading too much into it, but the dude who was scrubbing me did seem to make plenty of contact with my bulge - there was no reason for him to be repeatedly rubbing across my crotch unless he wanted to. Obviously, I was totally relaxed about that, but I did kind of want to let him know that if he wanted to touch me I wasn't going to protest in any way. It did make me wonder how you end up as an official scrubber in a local hammam. In a country where it's illegal to be gay, this kind of homosocial space is probably one of the few ways to easily experience man-on-man intimacy.

That evening, I went for a walk through the medina. At night, the main square is buzzing with a myriad of food stalls but all I needed was the orange salad that I hadn't had space for at lunch.

Marrakech seems to be a city of young men but I didn't attempt any sexual encounters. I'm sure you could find sex if you went looking for it but no one gave me any kind of vibe, and hook-up apps can be a bit problematic. There have been stories of tourists getting into trouble in Morocco - either with local guys or with the authorities. There's also a risk that you're putting local guys in a vulnerable position if you hook up with them - if anything goes wrong, your embassy will probably be able to sort it out for you but not for the dude that you've been fucking.

Dar Zarman only has four rooms but there was a steady turnover of guests during my short stay there - Americans, French, English - mostly straight, one gay couple. Was Dar Zarman gay-friendly? Absolutely. I was impressed by the staff. They all spoke French, English, and Arabic - probably Berber as well - and all had hospitality training.

It may not have been very Christmassy, but my time in Marrakech was exactly the kind of festive mini-break that I was looking for.

What's life like for LGBTQ people in Morocco?

What's life like for LGBTQ people in Morocco? Let's take a look at some of the key equality indicators.

Is it legal to be gay in Morocco?

No.

Same-sex sexual activity is criminalised under Morocco’s penal code. It can be punished by 6 months  to  3 years imprisonment. Additional fines can also be imposed.

The laws seem to be enforced fairly sporadically and inconsistently by the authorities.

Is there anti-discrimination legislation in place to protect gay men in Morocco?

No. There’s no legislative protection from discrimination or harassment based on sexuality.

Is there marriage equality in Morocco?

No. There is no legal recognition of same-sex relationships.

What’s life like for gay men who live in Morocco?

It is illegal to be gay in Morocco.

Being gay is seen as a sign of immorality, contravening the traditions of Islam that shape life in Morocco.

The laws against same-sex sexual activity are enforced sporadically, with local people generally treated more harshly than foreign nationals.

Morocco’s government actively discourages any tolerance, education, or advocacy regarding LGBTQ rights.

Is Morocco safe for gay men to visit on vacation?

Morocco has long been a popular destination for queer travellers, but if you’re considering a visit to Morocco, you need to proceed with extreme caution.

There has generally been more tolerance of foreign gay men in popular destinations such as Marrakech, however this often takes the form of prostitution by local people looking to make some money from visiting foreign nationals.

Plenty of gay men have visited Morocco without incident, however gay tourists are sometimes targeted for robbery or extortion and that can get tricky – this is a country where being gay can land you in prison.

A run in with the local authorities can be problematic for foreign nationals, but life-threatening for people who live there.

If you’re visiting Morocco, and hooking up with local guys, you can be placing them in material danger.