Naked Men Talking: Sem Taylor
In the conversation, we talk trauma, insecurities, and taking back control.
For our podcast, Naked Men Talking, I caught up with content-creator Sem Taylor.
In the conversation, we talk trauma, insecurities, and taking back control.
How did you discover and start to explore that performing on camera and content creation was something that you're passionate about?
Since I was like 14 or 15 years old, I always had this curiosity about the world of porn.
I always wanted to be famous as an actor or something since I was five. That obviously didn’t happen. My parents were always very open in communication about everything, but when I talked about being a pornographer they weren’t really enthusiastic about it.
I’m a very open and creative person and that’s what I always do. I've done six years of study to become master florist, and I've been studying to become a hairdresser. I also love to create art and paintings.
About three years ago, I met Bart Shoots. He was telling me that he is a creator on OnlyFans and he was happy to guide me through if I wanted to get started. I had to think about it but it didn’t took long before I texted him and asked him for all of his tips and tricks.
My first collaboration was with Bart - that was when I realised that this is what I really wanted to do.
A lot happened in my first year - not all of it good. But I kept going and didn’t let anyone or anything get in my way or get in the way of becoming who I wanted to be.
I really had a rough start in my first year, but I’m glad that I met so many new friends who are also creators in the industry - they helped me through this. Especially Bart! Without him, I wouldn't be where I am today.
You've said that you had a rough start to your work in content creation. With the benefit of hindsight, what would you have done differently?
Maybe the the only thing I could have done differently was listening to my friend and gone back to the hotel instead of partying.
It's difficult when you're just starting out to know how to navigate new situations, new experiences, new dynamics. Would you give any advice to other people starting out in terms of how to avoid some of the mistakes that you wish that you'd avoided?
Keep your eyes open. Don't forget to have fun but keep your eyes open. Don't get too drunk.
What was your relationship with your body like when you were growing up? Have you always been comfortable getting your clothes off in front of others?
Up until I was about eight years old, I was always happy to get naked - whether at home or at my grandparents house, I always got my clothes off.
But then I got bullied for something like 10 years straight - that made me a lot more insecure and uncomfortable with my body. I was also raped several times by one of the bullies at school - while we were at school - that further undermined my self-esteem.
I've since been through a lot of therapy, and look at me now! The whole world can see me naked!
How did that trauma shape the way that you navigated your sexuality as you were growing up?
It cost me a lot of time and and effort to change my vision of what my part is in sex, and what my sexuality is. and what I expected.
I was always treated like I was a piece of shit. I thought that I'm just some object and that's all I am, that's my part.
But I've learned that it's really important what I want as well.
You mentioned that you had to figure out what your role in sex was beyond being an object. How did that shape the sexual encounters that you were having?
It was a it was a rough time. I felt so insecure.
Insecure about your body? Insecure about how to navigate encounters?
A little of both.
I've always been insecure about everything about myself. I've always questioned everything - sometimes I still do.
Has your work in content creation helped you in some way to take back control of your body and the way that you see yourself?
Definitely. I've learned a lot about myself and what I do like, what I don't like.
I feel way more confident about myself than in the beginning. My fans help a lot with that - they remind me that I'm not that bad.
If I don't want something, then it doesn't happen - that has made me feel way more comfortable.
How does it feel when you're watching the content that you've created?
I can now look at it in a positive way, I can see how good the shots are and how I did.
In the very beginning it was really hard to look at myself, but I can now look at myself and be proud of what I've done.
Do you think that shift has been because of feedback from other performers or feedback from your audience or just you've managed to grow beyond some of the trauma that was holding you back?
It's a combination - thanks to the fans, I feel more confident and the feedback from the other creators is always good.
Do you feel a sense of community in terms of other content creators?
It's a huge community - everyone is unique and everyone is so welcoming.
What does intimacy look like for you these days?
It's still a little difficult sometimes. It's really important to feel comfortable. Intimacy is not always about sex but feeling safe with one another. It's about trust. Even a cuddle can feel like home - that's where it starts.
In terms of it sometimes being difficult for you, is that difficulty in trusting people or is it about meeting people who also want the same sort of intimacy that you're looking for?
Sometimes it's very difficult to open up and trust the person that you're with or that you meet. It's still a learning process.
Do you find that easier with other content creators who also understand the work that you do or easier with people who aren't content creators?
With the content creators, you have the same vision and technically it's all about work.
Intimacy is easier with other content creators or because it's about work, it never really gets to that level of vulnerability?
I guess you never get that high level of vulnerability because it's work.
Because the camera is on?
Even when the camera's off, you're still busy with the work. Sometimes you get a good friendship out of it.
Given the journey that you've been on, are there any lessons or insights that you wish that you'd learned earlier? Anything that you wish that you could tell your younger-self?
You're not alone. Don't feel so lonely because you aren't. Don't ever forget that you are amazing - everyone who tells you different or makes you feel different, they're just jealous assholes.
Gareth Johnson
Gareth Johnson