Review: The Locker Room Sauna, London.
EssexLad investigates.
Written by EssexLad
Have you heard about The Locker Room? Sure you have, the sauna for bi and gay guys near Cleaver Square in Kennington.
You’ve certainly heard of it if you're a Naked Mate as it’s a Naked Mates "go to" place.
So, what’s it like?
I’ve been twice: once for me to check it out and once for it to check me out!
Reviews weren’t all promising by any means.
You know the drill - on arrival, go to the window, get buzzed in, strip and secure the towel around you, then head to the showers.
On both occasions that I went, the guy on the desk was really matey and welcoming, sharply clad - shorts wise - but with a homely tinge. I felt comfy, safe and welcome as I headed in.
Until you “get it”, the entry scenario is on the strange side. Immediately inside the door is a bench on which punters sit chatting and enjoying the complementary refreshments. I couldn’t help but note that they also check out the talent arriving and it was a bit like running the gauntlet of an assessment panel, which may or may not grab you, unless you’re on the panel, of course!
Going through the common refreshment area you arrive at the fairly small changing room with probably the smallest sauna lockers I’ve encountered. They do the job but sort of just.
On the entry floor, apart from the reception/refreshment room and locker room, is a large bed like structure on which guys lie chatting, feeling each other up and wanking as they watch porn on the screen.
There is a further porn area with benches which seemed a little less, “touchy-feely”, a pretty generous sauna and some, “relaxation” rooms, most of which only allowed guys space to stand and play.
On the basement floor were showers and a generous steam room, a sort of dark room where guys were playing and a few more relaxation rooms, much like those on the floor above.
From my perspective, the lack of jacuzzi lost marks whilst the surroundings were generally tired and in need of TLC.
I wouldn't say the place was overly clean and I’d defo take flip flops but having said that there was a young guy cleaning the steam room and it looked like he made a really good job of it.
On the review front it looks like I’m heading for a “very average”. So, what’s the attraction - if there is one? In short, friendliness, chattiness, a good crowd and action.
There were way more people at Locker Room than I’d ever seen in a London sauna and the demographic was mixed from old to young, although probably the 45 to 65 group was best represented. Not only that, but most guys chatted - unusual in similar places - and were naturally tactile with each other in both horny and non-horny ways.
It was very obvious from the rest rooms as I passed that guys were having a good time and being very vocal about it, which was horny in itself.
Guys were playing in the sauna but more so in the steam room where it felt like a matter of time before more or less everyone got “involved” to one degree or another. The only thing stopping the chat between me and the guy next to me being the fact that while sucking me off he thought it rude to talk with his mouth full!
Locker Room is sort of the sauna equivalent of a good value down-at-heel east end pub full of friendly genuine punters who go for the people not the glitz. A bit grubby but if you want more or less guaranteed fun with a genuine friendly crowd or even just a naked cup of tea and biscuit, this could be for you.
I’ll certainly try it again.
Essexlad
Gareth Johnson
Gareth Johnson