Unlock the power of a naked cuddle
Non-sexual nudity combined with touch and physical connection delivers a re-set that could be just what you're looking for.
It was a warm Thursday evening in late May and the light was beginning to fade as I cycled through Islington on my way home. I was feeling a bit blissed out - just very content and undeniably happy.
I was on my way home following my first experience of the London Cuddle Exchange, facilitated by Andy Butterfield.
Andy has been working in the broad field of tantra and body-work for many years - he's one of the best-known practitioners in the UK in terms of naked yoga, tantra retreats, and somatic therapy.
I've known Andy for a while but this is the first time that I've attended one of his group sessions.
A cuddle exchange is exactly what it sounds like. Andy also offers a clothed version of this event but tonight's session was the undressed edition - it was a naked cuddle exchange.
12 guys gathered together in a studio space just near Angel tube station in London. I'm guessing that the age-range was late-20s to early 60s. It was an attractive group of guys, with plenty of diversity in body-shape and cultural background.
The event is clearly labelled as a non-sexual event, so physical attraction isn't required to shape the energy of the session but it obviously helps if you're surrounded by guys that you're quite happy to get up close and personal with.
I'm eager to get my clothes off at any opportunity, so the naked aspect of this event didn't faze me. What I wasn't sure about was how I would feel - would I be in the right head-space to just relax and immerse myself in the experience of what Andy describes as "heart-centred, kind and respectful touch"?
Everyone got naked on arrival, chatting amongst ourselves while waiting for the session to begin. Once everyone had assembled, Andy outlined the framework and intention of the event and then gently took us through a series of partner exercises involving variations of physical touch and embracing each other.
This is a 2.5 hour session and we swapped partners regularly. I had one-on-one cuddles without about half the guys in the group, but Andy's facilitation created a strong group dynamic so I felt like I got face-time with everyone there.
I enjoyed the entire experience much more than I thought I would. I really enjoyed being embraced by these men. Observing the differing energies between guys was really interesting. Some guys gave noticeably great cuddles, but everyone had something to offer - there wasn't anyone whose cuddles I didn't enjoy. I wondered what they were feeling as I embraced them.
I appreciated that Andy kept everything fairly grounded and practical. Part of what makes us human is our need for physical contact and touch - it doesn't need to be any more mystical than that. The rise of individualism and the late-stage capitalism undermining of any sense of community means that many of us find intimacy difficult to access. Being part of a cuddle exchange can help to address that.
There was lots of body contact throughout the session but the sexual energy never ratcheted up beyond a low-level simmer. There was the occasional boner but this is not a sex-party - the nakedness enables us to connect authentically and organically, without barriers.
Gentle and affectionate touch triggers the release of oxytocin - a hormone that helps to lower stress and quiet social anxiety. Your body's release of oxytocin physically alters your emotional state to make you feel safe, trusting, and deeply connected to others.
Cycling home from a naked cuddle exchange, I was floating on a tsunami of oxytocin. Getting naked with other men is awesome.
The London Cuddle Exchange is one of the many events offered by Andy Butterfield - event details are posted on OutSavvy
Gareth Johnson