Masturbation & Mindfulness: The report
The monthly event where we get to grips with the good stuff.
Our monthly Masturbation & Mindfulness events are a great opportunity to get together with a group of guys, get naked, and explore the pleasure of stroking your penis.
The October edition was another Sunday afternoon session in Hoxton.
Plus myself, 12 guys gathered together for two hours of stroking. This is a good size group - it fits the space well, plus everyone has enough room to navigate through the event in whatever way works for them.
I had met a couple of the guys before, but everyone else was new to me. No one in the group had been to one of my masturbation sessions before, and for nearly everyone it was their first communal masturbation experience.
There were a lot of unknowns at play.
I don't want to toot my own horn, but I'm going to call it - the October edition was the best Masturbation & Mindfulness session we've had so far!
I have said that previously about numerous other sessions, but there were a number of factors that made the October edition really click.
For starters, it was a great group of guys. With a small-group ticketed event, you really don't have any control over who walks in the door. With this group, everyone brought the right energy - warm, open, horny.
Everyone was up for some mutual masturbation. There was obviously varying degrees of that - some guys were more inclined to sit back and observe the action, but everyone got involved and interactive at various points throughout the session.
You clearly can have a bate session or circle jerk without any mutual play - that's sort of the classic format and it's how I started off running these Masturbation & Mindfulness events. What I'm finding is that guys seems to be more relaxed when it's kind of a "no rules" situation. That doesn't mean that everyone has to be getting into mutual masturbation but the overall vibe of the event is stronger if everyone is pretty much in the same head-space.
I like a bate session where there's lots of body contact - kissing, nipple play, a bit of sucking, even a bit of anal play is all cool with me. The October edition had plenty of all of that.
The cherry on the cake was that Steve from Strokinut came along and brought a tub of his lube with him.
This was the first time that I'd tried Strokinut and I'm totally converted. Not only is Steve the perfect dude to have a bate session with, but he's created a plant-based sex-grease that has no taste and no scent. It feels so good on the body.
It's really horny to be discussing the merits of lube while stroking with a room full of dick-loving dudes.
The end result was that the sexual energy in the room was really pumping and by the end we were sweaty and satisfied.
Communal masturbation is always an experience worth exploring.
What happens at a Masturbation & Mindfulness event?
The format we follow is that everyone starts off sitting in a circle, we kick things off with some breathing exercises, and then everyone gets comfortable and starts stroking.
It's a low-pressure, low-stakes but awesome way to share your bate with other guys.
When is the next Masturbation & Mindfulness event?
Our next Masturbation & Mindfulness event will be held in London on Thursday 27 November.
Ways to add mindfulness to your masturbation
Break your patterns of behaviour
If you usually masturbate in a certain spot or in a certain way, try something new - explore different ways to jack-off. Have you jacked off outside? Have you jacked off blindfolded? Have you jacked off using your left hand? Experience different things.
Make an appointment with your penis.
Block out some dedicated time for your masturbation. This enables you to ensure that you don't have to rush things, that you're not going to be disturbed. It's just you and your hard cock having some quality time together
Explore your body
Start your stroke session with a self-massage. As you're masturbating, don't forget about all of the erogenous zones beyond your cock. Pay particular attention to your nipples and your anus - these parts of your body are hard-wired into the pleasure-receptors in your brain.
Let your imagination loose
As you're masturbating, fantasise about different things. Don't restrain yourself, there are no limits when you're fantasising, there are no taboos. Use your masturbation as an opportunity to explore different aspects your sexual experience and your sexual desires.
Listen to your penis
Different things will feel good at different times. Maybe you need a lot of lube, maybe you don't. Maybe you want fast strokes, maybe you want slow and steady. Figure out what is going to maximise your pleasure in that moment.
Tap into your sexual energy
It's a bit of a nebulous term but your sexual energy is a combination of physical and psychological factors that is the driving force of the sexual act. As you become aroused, your heart-rate increases, your body temperature increases, your senses will be heightened.
As you masturbate, try and tune into those physical sensations but also how you're experiencing the world around you in that moment.
Sexual energy is often described as a creative energy - a way of unlocking our full potential if we can really connect with it.
Talk about masturbation
Share your experience of masturbation with other men - whether that's fuck-buddies, friends, or guys that you connect with online.
Talking about masturbation is an important way of normalising jacking off, but it's also part of the experience - building communal sexual energy with other men is really powerful.
Why is it important to talk about masturbation?
Most of us get lumbered with a lot of shame surrounding masturbation – leading to patterns of behaviour that can really limit the pleasure of jacking off.
Talking about masturbation and celebrating it is a great way to de-stigmatise something that is an essential and normal part of our sexual expression and our basic needs as humans.
How to explore different way to masturbate
Use sex toys and butt plugs
Sex toys are a useful way to change the dynamic of your bate session. If you’re new to using gay sex toys, start with something simple like a butt plug. Butt plugs are designed to go in your anus and provide extra stimulation.
Butt plugs come in various sizes – it’s a good idea to start small and build up to the longer and girthier models.
Butt plugs that have a bit of a weird shape are usually particularly good for prostate stimulation.
If you want something that vibrates, there are also vibrating butt plugs that can add an extra element of fun.
Treat yourself to some quality lube
Lube is an essential part of solo play – it can help reduce friction and make your experience more pleasurable.
There are a variety of lube formulas on the market – experiment with different options until you find your favourite.
One key difference is water-based lube versus silicone-based lube. Water-based is easier when it comes to clean-up, but silicone-based lube will last longer and deliver a smoother ride.
Ideally, you should invest in something organic - so that you're not absorbing toxins through your skin. I'm loving Strokinut.
Fuel your fantasies
Visual stimulation is a really common way to motivate your masturbation. If porn is your go-to strategy, try and mix things up a bit so you don't develop static patterns that limit your experience of pleasure.
How to connect with bate buddies
While a solo jack-off is pleasure in its purest form, getting a helping hand from a bate-buddy is always fun.
Let’s look at some ways to make that happen.
Arrange a Circle Jerk
A circle jerk is when a group of guys masturbate together.
You don’t need much more than just some eager participants to arrange a circle jerk. There’s something really primal about jacking off with a group of guys – you can feel the sexual energy in the room.
Get competitive
This is ideal for Masturbation Month, but you can obviously do it at any time of the year. Get your friends and hookups involved. Set everyone a challenge – something like a masturbation marathon where you keep score of how many times you’ve jacked off during the month or in a 24-hour period. The guy who jacks off the most, wins!
Or maybe it’s an edging challenge – who can goon and bate the longest without pushing themselves over the edge and blowing their load? Get creative with it.
Log on to video chat-rooms
Take it online and share your bate with other guys. Whether it's a virtual circle jerk or you're tapping into your exhibitionist kink and putting on a show. Turn your camera on, grease up, and get to work.
Head to a bathhouse
Bathhouses and saunas are great places to find other guys to jerk off with. Everyone is wearing a towel at most, there's plenty of different spaces to explore, there's generally porn playing somewhere, and the sexual energy is pumping.
A celebration of masturbation
Obviously we can - and do - masturbate any and every day of the year, but you'll probably have heard people talking about May as masturbation month.
Why is May designated as Masturbation Month? Alliteration is fun! Men masturbate most in May, maybe?
Designating May as Masturbation Month isn’t a new thing – the illustrious history of these celebrations can be traced back for at least 20 years, but no one really knows how or why it started.
It's possible that Masturbation May emerged as a direct challenge to the nonsense that is No Nut November. While there hasn’t been any research that suggests that abstinence helps with your overall health, there is plenty of evidence that confirms that wanking is good for you. Anyone that suggests that there’s some kind of benefit from not masturbating is talking out of their ass. Anyone who suggests that masturbating is somehow bad for you is actively promoting shame and is compromising the mental health of men - particularly young men.
I'm here for any opportunity to talk about and celebrate jack-off joy, so that makes May a pretty magical time of year, right?
Men are massive masturbators, and that’s marvellous!
Gareth Johnson
