Naked Men Talking: Anthony Bawn
Behind the scenes of his romantic comedy, Almost Us.
For our podcast, Naked Men Talking, I caught up with filmmaker Anthony Bawn to discuss his latest release, Almost Us.
We talk community, expectations, and moving forward in the unknown.
The story begins with a one-night-stand between Darren and Jason, but it turns out that Darren is a property developer with his sights set on the Community Cultural Centre run by Jason. What was your inspiration for this story?
I really wanted to have a feature that would centre black queer men in the forefront of a romance comedy.
The film explores the importance of the cultural centre to the local community in Phoenix where the story is based. In a world of online dating and transactional relationships, are community hubs - such as this cultural centre - a thing of the past?
I think they're probably even more relevant now because of the state of the current economy - people are really trying to make sure that they do things with intention to make sure that they are taking better taking care of themselves.
The community centre is one of those elements that provides people with that safe space of cultivating themselves.
Growing up, community centres helped cultivate me as an artist. I did a lot of summer intensive programs at different community centres that helped me train in my acting and musical theatre. We would be in a basement of a gym, tap-dancing like we're in vaudeville - in a line, just sweat drenching down our faces.
You've written that one of the themes explored in the film is the difference between wanting someone and being willing to be seen with them?
I feel that as we navigate through our adult lives, no one really wants to truly be alone, but sometimes because you don't want to deal with the other side of the element of relationship, most people opt out with saying, hey, I'm okay with the one night stand.
Are you saying that people aren't necessarily willing to make compromises in order to progress the relationship to something more permanent? That if he's not perfect in every respect, then it's not compatible?
Yes - folks have the list. That level of expectation for another individual is always going to be detrimental to relationship building because not everyone is perfect. In a relationship, you see all the imperfections that you didn't see before.
Where do those expectations of perfection come from?
Social media paints an alternative picture of an individual online - most people are not posting their horrible moments on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram. They're only posting the moments when they look their best.
Well, not necessarily that, it's more that you'll be judged by the outside world - we see you this way online, but this is your partner? I would have never thought you would have been with this type of individual. You start second-guessing yourself.
For myself, I don't care what other people think. If this is my partner, then that's my mate, that's my partner.
What's on your list in terms of what you're looking for in someone?
I've been married for 14 years to my partner - we've been together for like 20 years.
I do want you to look attractive - if someone else finds you attractive, then I'm like, okay.
You're turned on by people being attracted to the person that you're in relationship with?
Absolutely. I love that.
The other element is that I like to have fun. I love being at home, I love cooking, I love just relaxing, chilling. But if we want to go out - to a club or dancing, I want to enjoy that and not feel self-conscious of anything.
I was interested in how your work in filmmaking and acting has shaped your experience of intimacy over the years, but also your relationship with your body. Could you talk a little bit about what your relationship with your body was like growing up?
Growing up in the South, there is a reverse psychological thing that happens with men. If you're too skinny, we're told that we're not eating enough. Or if you're too big, then they tell you to cut back.
I'm a thicker individual. I purposefully wanted to push myself outside of the mould in terms of how a person like me would be perceived in this type of storyline. My character is having a three-way with these other two guys. I've seen a couple comments about the body - you you have these two very attractive young men that have amazing bodies, then you have me just clumped right in the middle.
I had to really project my own confidence in those moments, even though I was second-guessing myself every moment - I had to really not let that show on camera because I wanted to make sure that I was being confident with what I was doing.
That makes total sense, but even the way that you're describing that scenario reveals a bit of insecurity about how people are going to perceive you? You're talking about them as having amazing bodies without putting yourself in the amazing body category - by default, you're othering yourself?
I'm very conscious of that. That's my own thing.
You said that you'd seen a couple of comments about this film - what were those comments?
It was like, it's good to see big boys getting roles and stuff like that.
How did that make you feel?
I take it with a grain of salt - it's something that I know that I have to work on personally and that's going to be at my own time.
I've always dealt with that in in this industry - since high school.
I'm 6'2" - I'm a taller guy. I've always had issues, either if it's with height or it's with weight, especially when I was doing auditions for Broadway. Someone told me that the reason I wasn't getting cast was because I wouldn't fit the costume.
I realised that I needed to find lanes to create for myself. And that's what I started doing.
What do you hope the people feel when they watch Almost Us?
I want them to feel that when you watch the film, it's okay to not have everything together. It's okay to not know everything - and be okay with moving forward in the unknown - but walk with confidence in the unknown because at any moment you know things can be ripped under you. But what are you going to do? Are you just going to lie there or you're just going to keep get up and keep moving.
I want people to walk away from this film knowing that they have the power to move forward and to rebuild.
Almost Us premieres April 17 exclusively on WatchVIM.com
Gareth Johnson